October 7. On this October 7, the death anniversary of Grandpa will be 7th year. When looking back, I think most of my childhood life had been with Grandpa. I think he was the only person who can understand me almost completely.
It is hard to explain but there is chasm of understanding between one person and another. Normally, we can share ideas and thoughts between one person and another, but how can we actually express our deepest thoughts to another person sincerely? Can we actually know our deepest thoughts? Well, it is hard, believe it or not? Most of us think we know who we are, but we don't actually know. Maybe 90% of our thoughts and ideas come from projection of others.
Well, it is really hard to find someone who can understand you deeply; it is simply because in order to understand someone else, we need to understand ourselves deeply. It would be kind of difficult to think why we need to understand ourselves in order to understand other people. It is simply because we normally understand others by putting ourselves in their situations. For example, if we don't like something, it is hard to understand other people who like it.
When I was young, I was really curious as far as I can remember. I wanted to ask questions. Being close to Grandpa, I kept questioning him a lot things, most of which would be probably non-sense in the eyes of an adult. For example, who filled the water in the coconut ? But Grandpa never joked around or laughed at me, however silly the question was. He tried his best to answer. Well, of course, there were times he could not answer my questions at all. But he never beat around the bush whenever he could not answer. He just simply said he could not answer my question, and he always pointed to the Encyclopedia and said to me that answers to my questions would be probably inside that book. I didn't realize that it was his trick to teach me reading quicker. Honestly, at that time, my biggest ambition was to be able to read the Encyclopedia, and whenever I had a chance, I looked at that book and view the pictures, and felt happy when I could find some words which I could understand.
When I was young, I had a hard time with spelling English words. I felt really bored with learning things by heart which I did not understand. Of course, I made a lot of spelling mistakes. Grandpa rarely scolded me for the mistakes. He asked me why I was not interested in spelling correctly, and I simply replied I never saw such words in the real-world. From that day onwards, Grandpa took me with him whenever he went for a walk. Along the way, he pointed to the different things and asked me to spell. I started to enjoy the English spellings.
When I was young, I loved Geometry, but I really hated Arithmetic. I felt really frustrated to memorize the multiplication table. My school teacher told me if I didn't learn the multiplication table by heart, I could not do well in Arithmetic. Although nodded, I asked myself what was the point. Of course, I asked Grandpa too. He asked me to bring a handful of grains of rice from the kitchen. He asked me to count the grains one by one. I counted, counted and counted. After a while, I felt really bored, and asked him if there was any other way to count them faster. Grandpa smiled at me, and said to me, "Yes, Of course." He asked me to group the grains of rice into rows and columns, and he asked me to count the rows of grains and he also asked me to count the columns, and he asked me the total. Of course, I could not answer. Then, Grandpa brought the multiplication table and asked me to look for the answer.
When I first heard the Earth was round, I could not believe it. I asked myself how I could stand up on the round Earth, and I asked Grandpa too. He told me to bring a soccer ball and a glass of water. He asked me to drip some water drops on the soccer ball, and asked me to see if the water drops fell off from the ball. To my surprise, they did not fall off. And he explained me that the size of the ball was a lot bigger and it pulled the water droplets. I couldn't help imagining myself that I was being pulled by the Earth. I dreamed about falling into the sky from the Earth at that night.
Being a fatherless child himself (Grandpa's dad died when he was 12), I think Grandpa saw himself in me. As for me, I see myself in Grandpa too. In Gone With the Wind, Rhett Butler said third generation is more or less similar to the first generation. I would not be surprised much about that.
I still remember that on rainy days, both Grandpa and me looking at the sky and talked and discussed about different things from Buddhism to the Fall Of the Rome, from Johnathan Swift to Oscar Wilde. At that time, I did not realize that these are the happy and most valuable moments which I will never be able to get back.
Grandpa did not believe in life after death, on which I had discussed a lot with him. Although he knew a lot about Buddhism, he was not convinced that life after death actually existed. At that time, I was not able to convince him or prove it either. However, during his last days, this very idea gave him very uneasy thought; he felt that he would not be able to see his beloved family ever again.
After Grandpa passed away, I was really curious about life after death. Although it made me very uneasy, it also make me ask myself if there were no life after death, how I would spend my life? It is very much similar to if we only had 10,000 dollars to spend for the rest of our life, what would we buy?
It is hard to explain but there is chasm of understanding between one person and another. Normally, we can share ideas and thoughts between one person and another, but how can we actually express our deepest thoughts to another person sincerely? Can we actually know our deepest thoughts? Well, it is hard, believe it or not? Most of us think we know who we are, but we don't actually know. Maybe 90% of our thoughts and ideas come from projection of others.
Well, it is really hard to find someone who can understand you deeply; it is simply because in order to understand someone else, we need to understand ourselves deeply. It would be kind of difficult to think why we need to understand ourselves in order to understand other people. It is simply because we normally understand others by putting ourselves in their situations. For example, if we don't like something, it is hard to understand other people who like it.
When I was young, I was really curious as far as I can remember. I wanted to ask questions. Being close to Grandpa, I kept questioning him a lot things, most of which would be probably non-sense in the eyes of an adult. For example, who filled the water in the coconut ? But Grandpa never joked around or laughed at me, however silly the question was. He tried his best to answer. Well, of course, there were times he could not answer my questions at all. But he never beat around the bush whenever he could not answer. He just simply said he could not answer my question, and he always pointed to the Encyclopedia and said to me that answers to my questions would be probably inside that book. I didn't realize that it was his trick to teach me reading quicker. Honestly, at that time, my biggest ambition was to be able to read the Encyclopedia, and whenever I had a chance, I looked at that book and view the pictures, and felt happy when I could find some words which I could understand.
When I was young, I had a hard time with spelling English words. I felt really bored with learning things by heart which I did not understand. Of course, I made a lot of spelling mistakes. Grandpa rarely scolded me for the mistakes. He asked me why I was not interested in spelling correctly, and I simply replied I never saw such words in the real-world. From that day onwards, Grandpa took me with him whenever he went for a walk. Along the way, he pointed to the different things and asked me to spell. I started to enjoy the English spellings.
When I was young, I loved Geometry, but I really hated Arithmetic. I felt really frustrated to memorize the multiplication table. My school teacher told me if I didn't learn the multiplication table by heart, I could not do well in Arithmetic. Although nodded, I asked myself what was the point. Of course, I asked Grandpa too. He asked me to bring a handful of grains of rice from the kitchen. He asked me to count the grains one by one. I counted, counted and counted. After a while, I felt really bored, and asked him if there was any other way to count them faster. Grandpa smiled at me, and said to me, "Yes, Of course." He asked me to group the grains of rice into rows and columns, and he asked me to count the rows of grains and he also asked me to count the columns, and he asked me the total. Of course, I could not answer. Then, Grandpa brought the multiplication table and asked me to look for the answer.
When I first heard the Earth was round, I could not believe it. I asked myself how I could stand up on the round Earth, and I asked Grandpa too. He told me to bring a soccer ball and a glass of water. He asked me to drip some water drops on the soccer ball, and asked me to see if the water drops fell off from the ball. To my surprise, they did not fall off. And he explained me that the size of the ball was a lot bigger and it pulled the water droplets. I couldn't help imagining myself that I was being pulled by the Earth. I dreamed about falling into the sky from the Earth at that night.
Being a fatherless child himself (Grandpa's dad died when he was 12), I think Grandpa saw himself in me. As for me, I see myself in Grandpa too. In Gone With the Wind, Rhett Butler said third generation is more or less similar to the first generation. I would not be surprised much about that.
I still remember that on rainy days, both Grandpa and me looking at the sky and talked and discussed about different things from Buddhism to the Fall Of the Rome, from Johnathan Swift to Oscar Wilde. At that time, I did not realize that these are the happy and most valuable moments which I will never be able to get back.
Grandpa did not believe in life after death, on which I had discussed a lot with him. Although he knew a lot about Buddhism, he was not convinced that life after death actually existed. At that time, I was not able to convince him or prove it either. However, during his last days, this very idea gave him very uneasy thought; he felt that he would not be able to see his beloved family ever again.
After Grandpa passed away, I was really curious about life after death. Although it made me very uneasy, it also make me ask myself if there were no life after death, how I would spend my life? It is very much similar to if we only had 10,000 dollars to spend for the rest of our life, what would we buy?
